When alarming news fills our screens with violent headlines, knowing how to discuss issues with our children can feel like a daunting task. From terror events in the world to school shootings closer to home, broaching headline-grabbing topics is up to every parent. Having those conversations is important and approaching them carefully shapes the next generation’s view of world events. Here are five ways to start the conversation:

Choose a neutral setting: Think back to the best conversations you had with your parents and mentors. More than likely, they did not all take place in formal sit-down sessions. A neutral setting can help reduce tension. Talking in the car or over a meal may be more comfortable.

Ask what your child has heard: Start the conversation by listening more than talking. Beginning with a simple “I’m worried about this topic. What have you heard about that lately?” can give your child space to share what they already know and related feelings or assumptions.

Addressing those can be key during the conversation.

Frame the message in safety: Quell anxiety by leading with the safety measures already in place at your child’s school or within the community. List the ways prevention is established currently. Be realistic and admit that adverse events could happen; there is always a possibility of something going wrong but strategies are in place to deal with that unlikely situation. Name the helpers: we have outstanding heroes in the adults they already know, teachers, firefighters, doctors and police officers. All are here to help us and the adults are in control.

Emphasize what we can each do: Showing ways we can all help prevention methods is key but keep it age-appropriate. If faith is part of your household dynamic, prayer could be mentioned. Practical steps like telling an adult when something is wrong or calling 9-1-1 can be items for review. Also remind your child that we must all help one another; use the opportunity to talk through inclusion, bullying and how to be kind. Remind your child that every person has the ability to be kind.

End the conversation with an open door policy: Let your child know talking about these topics is always okay. Give more options to contact you: bringing up fears with a note or by text may work for older children but other ways, like leaving a stuffed animal on your chair, may serve as a signal from younger kids that they need you to come and find them for a chat.

Having difficult conversations is essential to nurturing a healthy relationship and an emotionally intelligent person. Building on past conversations as the child grows helps ensure a source to return to for strength and comfort into adulthood.