Sep 27, 2022
“I am an upbeat, friendly, loving person and I describe myself as a go-getter in life, as a parent, wife and woman. I've had many different phases in my life but I would say I’ve blossomed into other spaces,” said Kelly. “I love adventures. My perspective is ‘Don’t be scared, just chase it.’”
“The go-getter in me is scared to do new things but another side trumps that fear and chases them. I am not someone who is reckless or fearless but I want to go after what is excellent and fun and good, all in its own time,” said Kelly. “It was time to homeschool, so I did it. Someone asked me to be the lead singer of a band, so I did that and now the band is playing at new venues and opening for Suzy Bogguss and Easton Corbin.”
Born in Bakersfield, Kelly traces her sense of adventure to her parents.
“My Dad is a civil engineer but he was a bronc rider as a young person. He started his business, Dee Jaspar & Associates, when I was one. That’s a big risk to take with a new baby at home. He brings that sense of joy and my Mom is a firecracker, a cheerleader for every family member,” said Kelly.
“I know that, as a mother, I want to transfer that joy into my home. I am so thankful that my Mom made joy our family culture because it is not something I have to force but it is natural in me because of the tone of my household,” said Kelly. “My parents love God and find joy in all things. They were very positive in their outlook with us and, frankly, they were really not offended at people. They gave a lot of grace and turned the other cheek often. There is a margin to say ‘It is okay, I am okay and this is still good,’ when something goes wrong. Hopefully, I can be that person who gives grace to her kids and finds joy in her kids.”
Kelly’s parents and family members continue to work together on the family’s cattle operation, Little Creek Ranch. She and her husband, Jeff Pray, also a civil engineer in the family business, are parents to Brady, 14, Cody, 13, and Kennedy, 11. Kelly has homeschooled since 2020 and her younger two are now in seventh and fifth grade, while her oldest returned to a traditional high school setting this year.
People who knew Kelly as a high school math teacher are now surprised to learn she is a lead singer in a band. Meanwhile, those who know her as the lead singer in a band are shocked to find out she was formerly a high school math teacher who describes herself as an introverted person who loves to read Jane Austen novels and enjoy quiet time.
The Rivals, now a four-person rock blues band, started as an acoustic duo. When Cafe Smitten opened, local guitarist Jordan Lewis set out to bring live music to the space and he remembered having crossed paths with Kelly at Laurelglen Bible Church, where she can still be found singing worship music any given Sunday.
“I had no intention of starting a band. I wasn’t in the school choir. I didn’t even do church harmonies until I was an adult,” said Kelly. “I sang background vocals for church worship for a few years and I only did that because I happened to have an ear to sing harmony but I would never sing leads. I was very timid and really only started singing at all because my brother-in-law needed someone to harmonize with him while he played guitar one time. I thought it was the most fun I’ve ever had, so I tried it at church.”
Through that roundabout connection, Kelly began singing regularly at the band’s appearances at local events. Venues continued to ask them back and through someone who saw them play at The Mark, the band was invited to play at the Crystal Palace, which turned into a monthly performance and the chance to meet artists characteristic of Bakersfield Sound as well as renowned artists on tour. Find out more about the band at https://therivalsband.com/ and see slated appearances on Instagram: @therivals_official.
“It’s a commitment I love. We are out multiple weekends each month, plus practice sessions. We’ve played concerts for causes, private events, community functions. I say all the time we are very versatile and play so many genres, we can play a dinner set or an entire dance set,” said Kelly. “I have become a performer. I have become an artist. I do it because, other than being a wife and a mom, there is nowhere else I would rather stand. There are times we all think in our lives ‘If only I could just live in this moment.’”
Kelly recognizes the importance of letting children see adults change and enjoy new life phases.
“You are never too old. I started a band at 37. My advice is to bring your kids with you. My kids dance all night at the Crystal Palace. They know my story because they know I didn't sing for half their lives. They see me scared and nervous but they also see me happy and capable,” said Kelly.
Q. Parents sometimes navigate certain phases of life that can seem lonely or isolating, especially as they raise young children. What advice do you have for respite and renewal for mothers in particular going through that phase of life?
A. Don't wait and let change come to you. When you are lonely, when you are tired, when you need a friend, start researching groups, look for places to get together with other parents. Sometimes, just one touchpoint during the day can make your whole day better. Take it into your own hands rather than sitting in that space. Find activities that connect you, through playdates or church groups or daycare. Realize that what you are feeling is a real need and that it is good to allow yourself to seek change. Validate your own needs and go for it. After all, this is really just a phase. It is difficult to remember when your days are about spit up and lack of sleep that in the very near future, you will be going on different adventures with these kids. Pretty soon, it'll be cheering at soccer and then it'll be dropping them off so they can do their own activities. There is a spectrum of joy. Each phase has its own precious space.
Q. What motivates you and keeps you moving forward?
A. In all that I do, I try to honor God and remember the truth of His Word, even through business and in all aspects of life.
Q. What should families in the Kern County area know more about in their community?
A. Being outdoors can be really transformative and a respite experience for families, even through active play. There are venues like CALM and zoo visits and hikes through the canyon but one of our greatest joys we didn't anticipate that developed over COVID is active unorganized sports: skateboarding, mountain biking and dirt bikes at Hart Park. We love team sports but these opportunities are available all the time, anytime and everytime. We can go whenever we want to, there’s no sitting on the sidelines, it’s free, everyone can do it and all the children can all do it at the same time.
Q. What is your parenting PSA?
A. Find joy in your kids and with your kids. I really genuinely enjoy being with my kids. I have fun with them. Choose to set that tone. I have also taught my kids a key principle: honor your commitments and chase your adventures. There has to be a balance of what you have signed up to do. It can't be ‘I want that adventure out there so I can discard my duties.’ There are ways and means, a season for everything. Just because I'm a mom of three doesn't mean I can't be in a band. Life is an adventure. Have joy in it!
