I miss the days when my children let me dress them. Not so much actually putting on their clothes as choosing their clothes. I loved picking out what they would wear—and then having them actually wear what I chose. I also liked getting rid of things without anyone noticing. 

Now what I get is this: Ashley doesn’t care if her pants are four inches too short or have holes in the knees, but if they don’t stick to her legs, they’re “too big,” and she will not wear them. She wants to wear boots without socks. Because, you know, every sock I have bought is either “too tight” or “falls down.” She has also been known to wear her socks upside down because that little seam at the top of the foot is less annoying if it’s at the bottom of the foot.  

Ashley likes to put on footed pajamas after her evening bath. But she cannot sleep in footed pajamas. They’re “too hot.” Never mind that she has been waking up every morning since August “freezing cold” and asking if we can start a fire—as she comes out of her bedroom with short sleeves and bare feet.  The elastic on the ankles in her newest footed pajamas were too tight, so I took the sides out and just left a 2-inch strip of elastic right in the middle. She has condescended to wear them.  Which is a good thing, because now that I’ve cut them I do not imagine Carters will want them back.

One night, she asked me when I could do the laundry again. Her drawers were overstuffed, and there wasn’t even enough in the hamper to make a small load. I asked, “What are you looking for that you can’t find? Because I am actually caught up on the laundry right now.” 

 

“Nothing. I just want those pants,” she said, pointing at the pants on the top of the hamper. The ones she had just taken off.  Of course.

I have also committed the heinous crime of throwing away a couple of old items of clothing, things that were too worn, stretched out, faded, and stained to give away.  But she saw last year’s bathing suit through the thin, white trash bag as I took out the trash. She rescued that bathing suit. And even though she admitted she could no longer wear it, she did proceed to cut it up and make a blanket out of it for her plastic horses.

As my second daughter, I thought Ashley would inherit a lot of hand-me-downs. But no. Not only do my girls have completely different body types (all the way down to Extra Wide compared to Extra Narrow shoes), but Ashley simply won’t wear 90% of anything that does fit (whether or not it comes from her sister).  

One thing she does like is trying on clothes. Ever since she was big enough to dress herself, she has enjoyed spending hours trying on all of her sister’s old clothes. Twice a year, she goes through her “blue dresser” of hand-me-downs, and makes piles of things that fit and things that don’t.  So far she hasn’t noticed what I do with the “doesn’t fit” pile, but eventually that pile will be turned into horse blankets instead of donations.

In the meantime, I am trying to hold onto the small slice of control I still have over what my children wear.