I’m sitting in a dark corner of my empty classroom trying to compose myself before stepping out into the hallway. I don’t know why, but I burst into tears about 5 minutes ago. Class went well, and I’m having a good hair day. So why am I practically curled up in the fetal position? And did I mention I am drenched in sweat? Hummmmm, emotions running rampant, sweating like a pig...what a mystery. I have entered hormonal h-e-double toothpicks.

   It wasn’t that long ago that I found myself bursting into tears because Albertson’s had switched around their aisles. “Why would they do this,” I silently sobbed. “I just wanted to pick up some lettuce and salad dressing. Where’s the salad dressing? I don’t know where the salad dressing is!!! I don’t want to live!!!”

   “Is there something I can help you with, Ma’am?” the store manager said softly.

   “WHERE IS THE SALAD DRESSING (tears flowing freely now)? I just need some salad dressing! You moved everything just to torment me. And why did you just call me ‘Ma’am’!” I said practically pulling on his collar.

   Wow. Now that I see this in writing I’m pretty darn horrified.

   The emotional outbursts I’m having now are not unlike those I went through when I was pregnant. I remember bursting into tears when a waitress cleared my plate while I was in the restroom. “How could you let it happen?!” I demanded of my husband. “I wasn’t finished!” Waaaaaaaaaaaaa waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

   Then there was the time I sent him to find me some watermelon, an artichoke, egg salad, and tuna. Pretty standard stuff; should be pretty easy to track down, right? Well not in Canada in the middle of winter. I think I cried for 12 hours over that one.

   I read something that the singer Pink said after getting into a fight with another shopper at a Bed, Bath and Beyond when she was pregnant (Pink, not the other shopper), "I don' t really know where I'm at ... It changes hourly." Almost any woman who’s been pregnant can relate to that one.

   And now I’m back in “Bizzaro” world. One minute I’m crying because Very Special Agent Tony DiNozzo is no longer part of the NCIS team; the next I’m laughing hysterically at a YouTube video of a cat chasing a laser dot on the floor.

   I don’t like Bizzaro world. Their motto, as stated on Wikipedia, is stupid, “society is ruled by the Bizzarro Code which states, ‘Us do opposite of all Earthly things!” and it’s waaaaaaay too hot!