Apr 01, 2016
Two parents are yelling at each other in the kitchen. Angry words are said; both parents act exasperated; fingers pointed; one person hurriedly leaves the room with a door slamming soon afterwards. The other parent, marching through the kitchen, growls at one of the children standing nearby, the child having had observed the entire match between the parents. Later on, the children are quarreling with one another. A toy is thrown, and a door is slammed. The parent who remained at the home marches into the children’s room, castigates them both for their behavior, and offers a punishment: You are both grounded! Now, stop your fighting!
In 1961, a psychologist by the name of Alfred Bandura staged a psychological experiment focused on children’s learning. He created 2 films for children, ages 3-6 years, to view. One film displayed adults playing nicely in a playroom with Tinker Toys. The other film showed adults acting aggressively, using a mallet, and yelling at and beating up on a Bobo doll. Following the viewing of the film, the children were eventually allowed in the same playroom that contained some aggressive toys and some non-aggressive toys, all of which had been viewed on the two films. The non-aggressive toys included a tea set, crayons, three bears, and plastic farm animals. The aggressive toys included a mallet and pegboard, dart guns, and a 3-foot-tall Bobo doll.
The results of the experiment were quite interesting. Children who observed the aggressive film made far more aggressive responses than those who observed the non-aggressive film. The girls were more physically aggressive if they viewed a male adult being aggressive, but were more verbally aggressive if they viewed a female adult being aggressive. The boys were more likely to imitate the male acting aggressively than were the girls; meaning the boys acted aggressively like the male adult role models they viewed on the aggressive film. The children who viewed the non-aggressive film behaved nicely when they went into the playroom. This has grave implications for children who are allowed to observe violence on TV, in movies, or in video games. What do you think might happen when a child continues to view what appears to be adult males shooting others?
What does this all mean? Children learn social behavior such as patience, kindness, or aggression through the process of observing adults. In other words, children will imitate behaviors they observe in their parents. We can punish our children for misbehavior; however, we should recognize that perhaps we taught them the behavior in the first place! In fact, punishment would not be necessary if we all just behaved as we should.
That is what discipline really is; it is parents disciplining themselves to behave well with each another as our children observe us. Parents need to take more responsibility for the way they act and be better teachers for their children. After all, discipline is the way we live our lives. We discipline ourselves to act a certain way. We are disciplined, and our children are watching. What do you want your children to do when you are not there to guide them? A measure of our children’s behavior is how disciplined we are as parents.
In 1961, a psychologist by the name of Alfred Bandura staged a psychological experiment focused on children’s learning. He created 2 films for children, ages 3-6 years, to view. One film displayed adults playing nicely in a playroom with Tinker Toys. The other film showed adults acting aggressively, using a mallet, and yelling at and beating up on a Bobo doll. Following the viewing of the film, the children were eventually allowed in the same playroom that contained some aggressive toys and some non-aggressive toys, all of which had been viewed on the two films. The non-aggressive toys included a tea set, crayons, three bears, and plastic farm animals. The aggressive toys included a mallet and pegboard, dart guns, and a 3-foot-tall Bobo doll.
The results of the experiment were quite interesting. Children who observed the aggressive film made far more aggressive responses than those who observed the non-aggressive film. The girls were more physically aggressive if they viewed a male adult being aggressive, but were more verbally aggressive if they viewed a female adult being aggressive. The boys were more likely to imitate the male acting aggressively than were the girls; meaning the boys acted aggressively like the male adult role models they viewed on the aggressive film. The children who viewed the non-aggressive film behaved nicely when they went into the playroom. This has grave implications for children who are allowed to observe violence on TV, in movies, or in video games. What do you think might happen when a child continues to view what appears to be adult males shooting others?
What does this all mean? Children learn social behavior such as patience, kindness, or aggression through the process of observing adults. In other words, children will imitate behaviors they observe in their parents. We can punish our children for misbehavior; however, we should recognize that perhaps we taught them the behavior in the first place! In fact, punishment would not be necessary if we all just behaved as we should.
That is what discipline really is; it is parents disciplining themselves to behave well with each another as our children observe us. Parents need to take more responsibility for the way they act and be better teachers for their children. After all, discipline is the way we live our lives. We discipline ourselves to act a certain way. We are disciplined, and our children are watching. What do you want your children to do when you are not there to guide them? A measure of our children’s behavior is how disciplined we are as parents.
