Sep 25, 2025
“Where’s your costume?” asked his teacher gently.
Leo shrugged. “I’m just me today.”
Some kids giggled. A few whispered. But Leo didn’t flinch. He opened his book and started reading.
At recess, his friend Maya ran up in a glittery unicorn outfit. “You forgot your costume?”
“Nope,” Leo said. “I didn’t want to wear one.”
Maya blinked. “But it’s Book Day!”
Leo smiled. “I’m still a kid who loves books. That counts, right?”
Later, the class gathered for a costume parade. Leo walked with them, holding his head high. He waved to his parents and smiled at the librarian. No cape, no crown—just confidence.
Afterward, his teacher knelt beside him. “You know, Leo, you reminded me of something important today.”
“What’s that?” he asked.
“That being yourself is the best character of all.”
Leo grinned. “That’s what I was going for.”
Not every child enjoys the chance to dress up—and that’s okay. Here are a few reasons why they say “no” to a costume:
- Sensory Sensitivities: Costumes can be itchy, tight, or made of synthetic fabrics that feel uncomfortable.
- Overstimulation: Loud events, bright colors, and unfamiliar routines can overwhelm sensitive kids.
- Identity Pressure: Some children feel anxious about “becoming” someone else or worry they won’t look “right.”
- Limited Choices: If a child’s favorite character isn’t available or doesn’t match their gender or culture, they may opt out.
- Emotional Safety: Kids who’ve experienced teasing or exclusion may avoid dressing up to protect themselves.
Whether it’s Halloween, Book Week, or a birthday bash, here’s how parents can help when their children do not want to wear a costume. KCFM included Five Tips for Parents to help support kids who opt out of dressing up.
1. Validate Their Feelings
Let your child know it’s okay not to dress up. Words are powerful, and as a parent, you set the tone with your attitude. By saying things like, “You don’t have to wear a costume to have fun,” or “I love that you’re showing up just as you,” shows them that you genuinely support their decision.
2. Offer Alternatives
There are so many other ways your child can show support for a theme without wearing a full costume. Suggest comfy, themed clothing (like a dinosaur T-shirt or sparkly socks) to still participate in the event. Or let them carry a prop—like a wand or book—that feels less intrusive.
3. Create a Safe Exit Plan
Making your children feel safe and included, while giving them options, can help relieve their stress. Make sure that they are aware that if the event becomes overwhelming, a quiet space or an early exit option is available for them. Knowing they can leave helps kids feel more in control.
4. Celebrate Their Choice
Many children want to please their parents, so when you celebrate their choice and support it, they feel more confident. When they don’t dress up, you can highlight their courage and individuality. A child who chooses not to dress up is still participating in their own way.
5. Talk to Teachers
Your child’s teacher most likely has some great ideas on how to include your child without requiring them to dress up. They might have a solution that you never thought of yourself. Especially, if your child is anxious, loop in their teacher as another supportive adult, who can help normalize their choice and prevent peer pressure.
The story KCFM shared at the beginning isn’t excerpted from any book, but was written by AI, which is about Leo and his quiet courage, is original, and tailored for Kern County Family Magazine’s readers. The spirit of inclusivity and self-expression inspires it, but it’s not pulled from any published source.
