Born and raised in Kern County, Lauren Skidmore knows the community inside and out, the public and private aspects of working and living here. Lauren is the fifth generation to call her family’s ranch “home”, a working cow/calf operation by the Kern River they are proud to trace back to the early 1900’s. Her dad runs the ranch while she and her husband both work full-time jobs and raise their children on the family property, with weekends full of chores around the ranch for everyone.

Lauren is CEO of two incredible organizations, Bakersfield Homeless Center and Alliance Against Family Violence and Sexual Assault. She describes herself as having a heart for helping and supporting other moms. The mission of Bakersfield Homeless Center is “to provide support and resources to families and individuals in crisis while helping them to achieve their highest level of self-sufficiency.” Alliance Against Family Violence and Sexual Assault helps survivors, who often have young children, access services that also prepare them to move forward by meeting their needs and preparing them for independent living.  

“As CEO, I get to be the visionary. I am not the one doing direct client service. I have an amazing team. My work is to be the one problem-solving to create a better agency. My team will do case management with therapists. We guide families through a really tough time,” said Lauren. 

Between the two agencies, Lauren works with around 230 employees, including those former clients who go through programs designed for upward mobility, which she estimates to be about 90 individuals at any given time. Those skills often translate to employment for upward mobility, a means to an end for those in need.

“We share partnerships and work with our team for the good of the community. The goal for both agencies is to provide support and guidance, to help those we serve create an independent future with a path to self-sufficiency,” said Lauren. “Our job is often to help those in need to see a path for themselves. We provide them the support they need to be self-sufficient.”

Lauren sees firsthand the reality of life for so many people who find themselves in unexpected circumstances. The assumption that people have made poor choices to somehow deserve their situation or otherwise experience poverty, abuse, or homelessness nettles her.

“There is absolutely a misperception that clients who experience homelessness, or even sexual assault, had a choice in their situation or scenario, and that is not always the case,” she explained. “It could be a whole range of misfortune that puts them at a tremendous disadvantage. For example, a home where they were living never officially got passed down to them, maybe someone lost their job or their significant other removed them from the home. Medical bills or other bills have built over time in some cases and they can no longer handle that financial pressure. Their car is irreparable, so they can’t get to work, and loss of a job leads to loss of a home. They don’t always see it coming or even imagine they’d be on the receiving end of services. It is sometimes a whole host of unfortunate events.” 

Lauren formerly served as district director for Assembly member Vince Fong. Her business degree is from California State University, Fresno and she completed her master’s in community development at Kansas State University. 

When she’s not overseeing outreach services, Lauren can be found at home with her husband, Ryan, a police officer, their daughter, Harper, age 4, and son, Lane, 2. Being a parent with young children throughout the pandemic has been challenging, she admits, but her gratitude for family support stands out.

“A lot of people have asked me how I have the energy to work in such a demanding job but also be a hands-on mom and continue to be involved with our family’s ranch. You just do it. You adjust and adapt,” said Lauren. “I’m the morning person and my husband is the night person. We coordinate and do our best to both be present after work and on weekends. His schedule is crazy but we try to support one another.”

Four key questions with Lauren Skidmore

 

Q. We often talk with mothers in phases of life that can seem lonely or isolating, especially as they raise young children. What advice do you have for respite and renewal for women going through that phase of life? 

Having children was the most life-altering experience for me. It was really hard to go through that shock to the system and deal with postpartum issues. Those issues can feel like something we don’t talk about and this life phase isn’t something we can complain about. I want to encourage other women to talk about the good days and the hard days and find other moms to connect, complain, and celebrate with. 

Also, talk about what you’re feeling with your significant other. That’s really important. They need to be able to step in. When you’re at your breaking point, take a break, take an epsom salt bath and know that we can’t do it all - all the time. Whatever we choose to do at that moment is enough for our children. It is enough. We are enough. 

Q. Do you have any hidden talents?  

I can text with my eyes closed. I work cattle. I’ve given injections to cows and I don’t mind working outside, getting dirty, and being in nature because of the ranch component. 

Q. What should families in the Kern County area know more about in their community? 

We have an amazing community of families. We have backyards and lots of space and getting out in nature is an important aspect of family life. Take your family to go hike at Wind Wolves, enjoy the outdoors along the grapevine, enjoy Tehachapi’s snow if it snows, and utilize our different scenic areas to get out and about. Social relationships are important, too. There are tons of other moms throughout Kern County as part of our community, so create your own network if you don’t have one. Don’t wait for the school age connection to happen. Find other women to go and grab coffee or read a book with nearby. 

  Q. If you could share a public service announcement message with the parenting community, what would it be? 

 

All moms are struggling, no matter how they seem. Take time to check on them. 

Fun fill-ins with Lauren:

I'm always laughing at... 

My attempt at dressing trendy; sometimes, I try to dress like what I see on Facebook or Instagram and I’m not great at it.

The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is...

 Drink water and enjoy the silence. 

Today, the strangest thing in my purse is... 

Yesterday, it was a half-eaten sandwich. Today, I don’t have anything that smelly: a cutlery bag with napkin, fork and spoon.

My favorite food is... 

French fries.

My favorite dessert is... 

Soft chocolate chip cookie. 

In my pantry, you will always find... 

Olive oil. 

Before I go out, I always make sure I have... 

My phone and my water bottle.

My favorite music group is... 

The “Guardian of the Galaxy” soundtrack.

So far, my best life advice is... 

Don’t let today’s circumstances overwhelm you tomorrow. 

One book Lauren recommends:

“A Mind of your Own” Dr. Kelly Brogan. 

This book helped me give my body the vitamins and nutrients it needed to help me get out of my postpartum depression. 

Last word from Lauren:

No one does parenting the right way. All that your kids need is your love. The clients I see every day, their kids don’t really know they’re in a shelter; all they know is their mom is with them and they are loved.  

Find out more about the community resources mentioned in this article at

https://bakhc.org/ and https://kernalliance.org/.